I stagger through the door slowly as I wandered across my bedroom. I tried not to tread on the clothes and I then collapse onto my bed as I gave a deep sigh of tiredness. I position myself into the part of the bed that makes me feel comfortable (which is usually with my head on my pillow with may hands tucked behind my head). I stare odourlessly at the ceiling and amde myself lose myself in my pre-occupied thoughts. Then I snap myself out of my trance by rolling to my right side and switching on from the plug my rocket shaped lava lamp. I gazed into it as pink blobs of different sizes, bounced off each other while hovering in the purple ocean of the background.
Those blobs climbing, falling, bouncing slowly off one another sort of reminds me of my own feelings. Confused, worried, not knowing whether I'm coming or going, twisting, turning, feeling nervous and then feeling physically sick as well as in the mind. People make me feel this way. No wonder I'm not getting anywhere.
I subconciously touch the side of the lava lamp and immediately felt the heat warming my hand up. The heat. The hot sensation. Does it represent my anger with the people I work with? Am I angry because I'm letting people treat me the way they wouldn't be treated themselves? I shook my head. I don't want these rhetorical questions to put me in a more miserable mood than I am in now.
But then, looking into the lamp, it does have a sort of calmness to it. It's environment is calming. It makes me want to leave reality and become part of that world. Me being curled up in the warm liquid, like I once was in a womb, bouncing off different blobs of lava while I still slumber. The sound I would only hear is the gentle blobs just gently swimming around in the clear purple fluid. No screaming, no shouting, no-one telling you what to do. Nothing but silence.
I gaze at the lamp a few more moments before it's calmess numbs me to sleep.
