Duck is typing on a computer when Tech comes up from behind him with a mug of coffee in his hand.
Tech: Hiya Duck! What are you doing?
Duck: I'm typing my profile on this dating website to see if I can get myself a babe.
Tech: Oh. Let me see.
Tech looks at what Ducks written and then turns to Duck.
Tech: Is this the truth in everybody else's eyes or is it the truth in your fantasy Utopia?
Duck: What do mean? What's wrong? Any spelling mistakes?
Tech: "I am of muscular build and I am incredibly handsome. I'm also into keeping my body in shape so I don't ruin my chances as a fully qualified sex symbol?!"
Duck: Well girls do like men to be handsome as well.
Tech: Duck! You're not any of these! You're skinny and you have a beak! And you never think about your body when you spend half the time in front of the screen and eat all kinds of junk food!
Duck: Hey! I think what you're saying is a bit of an understatement. Besides, you're just jealous because the girls you went out with tried using you to get what they want.
Tech: For your information Duck, I could have pulled that switch on the shroud-caster if I was under Black Velvet's control any longer, and Mallory was getting power hungry.
Duck: Yeah. And I bet they were the ones who told you that you were dumped.
Suddenly Rev and Lexi enters just in time to stop the arguement.
Rev: Hey-guys! Whatcha-doing?
Duck: I'm going to kick start my love life. As you can see I managed to put up my profile about myself.
Lexi looks on computer.
Lexi: Umm... Duck. Hate to dissapoint you but I don't think any girl is going to belive that.
Duck: Sure they will. They'll come flocking to me as soon as they read this work of art.
Tech: And then they'll find out that you're nothing that you put down and then they'll try to get away from you.
Duck: Oh yeah? Well at least I'm not the one who blew their chances of a successful relationship.
Tech: It's okay Rev. I'm not much of a babe magnet anyway. Besides, I'm always busy with my inventions so I probably wouldn't have time for anything romantic. But thanks for cheering me up.
Tech walks out of the door. As soon as he is out of sight, Rev jumps on the chair and starts typing at the speed of light.
Lexi: Rev! What are you doing?! Didn't you hear Tech?!
Lexi: You're not seriously going to try and get Tech to go on some date with someone from the website? Tech wouldn't agree to it.
Rev: But-Lexi. Tech-is-in-trouble.
Rev's mental image he's thinking up is in his art (which is in pencil drawing). Tech is struggling to escape from the evil lab monster, as the lab monster with very big teeth is clawing him back in forcing him to work on his inventions.
Rev: Please-Lexi. You-have-to-help-me.
Lexi: Oh alright. But how are we gonna to help get Tech get a girlfriend for him when he obviously doesn't want to.
Lexi: Okay... that's kind of a start. He's a medium build. Put that down.
Rev: And-he-is-also-ummmm... hairy!
Lexi: I don't think you got the hand of this description thing. Just put: "I maybe a coyote but I'm very sociable".
Rev: Tech?! Sociable?!
Lexi: Hey! He works with us as a team, so I think that counts as sociable . Plus, if Duck can lie about himself, we can lie about Tech .
Rev: Okay. Looks on screen. Uh-oh.
Lexi: What Rev?
Rev: We-have-to-do-a-video-about-him. Turns to Lexi. Well-we-have-a-video-camera-so-that's-one-problem-covered .
Lexi: But how are we gonna film Tech without him knowing? He'll find out what we're doing and then he'll never have a good love life as long as he lives.
Rev: See! You-been-in-your-lab-for-so-long-you-almost-have-no-if-any-social-skills-what-so-ever! Goes towards the door. I'm-sorry-to-have-troubled-you-Tech. Almost exits when...
Tech: No Rev! I'm sorry okay. I didn't mean to be so suspicious.
Rev: To himself Yes! Turns to face Tech. Eerr-yeah. But-anyways-you-were-about-to-say-what-three-things-you-like-in-a-girl.
Tech: Well, since you insist. The first thing I like in a girl is that she's got to be able to share the same interests as me. I can't connect with a girl unless she's interested in the things I'm interested in. Which is mainly technology, doing brain-puzzles and stuff like that.
Rev: Uh-huh. Two?
Tech: She's got to be trustworthy and someone I can rely on. If she's dishonest, then I can't be to sure if she's going to do somthing that could harm me and others around me.
Rev: That-is-so-true. And last of all?
Tech: I like her to be able to be kind and caring. I like someone I can smile to and they'll smile back. Looking away from Rev. If only it could've been the same way with...
Rev: Puts his hand on Tech's shoulder. Tech. Somewhere out there... there's a girl waiting for you to take her hand and make her happy. And she'll make you happy in return.
Tech: You're speaking slower? That must have come from the heart.
Rev: Pauses. Yeah... Turns to the door. Aaaaaannnnnddddd... Cut!
Tech: What?!
Rev: Uuuuummm... I... cut-my-finger-on-the-knife-in-the-kitchen. Ow. Ow. Looks at Tech to see if he believes his excuse. Ow? Rev then runs out of the door .
Tech: He goes back to his invention.
When Rev enters the living room, he sees Lexi with the video camera in her hand.
Rev: So-how-was-that? Good?
Lexi: Yeah. Got everything. Did he get a whiff of what we're doing?
Voice: Ladies and girls, do you want a man who is more unique than a unique man? (Shows picture of Tech in colour while everything else is in black and white.)
Voice: Do you want a man who you can envision in a shining suit of armour? (Shows picture of a suit of armour whose head has been covered by a head photo of Tech.)
Voice: And do you want a man who can sweep you off your feet? (A clip of Tech sweeping the floor with a broom and Lexi "accidently" trips over the broom.)
Lexi on video: Ow!
Tech on video: Oops! Sorry Lexi!
Lexi: And that hurt too.
Voice: Then meet a man named Tech. ("Since you been gone" song by Status Quo starts playing and in green bold lettering. He is a man of intelligence. Tech is doing Suduko when Rev comes along.)
Rev on vid: Tech. I-gotta-question. A-man-parks-outside-a-hotel-and-realises-he's-bankrupt. How-is-this-possible?
Tech on vid: Easy. He's playing monopoly. Why did you ask?
Rev: And-you-got-it-right-as-well.
Voice: He likes to stay clean. Sees a clip of Tech in the shower whistling. Yes Tech fans. His clotheless body in true form.
Tech: Rev!
Voice: And he isn't afraid to cry. (Tech goes up to the kitchen top when Rev pops up from underneath.)
Tech on v: Oh hi Rev-
(Rev sprays something in Tech's eyes. There's your reason why Techs eyes hurt.)
Tech on v: (Covering his eyes.) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!
Tech: Turns to Rev. That's why you did that!
Voice: So that is him but what does he like in a girl?
Tech starts saying the things he said in chapter 3, up to the part when Rev said cut.
Tech: How did you manage to film me without me knowing?
Lexi: A magician never reveals their secrets. Points to her nose and taps it twice.
Tech clicks on the IM icon and a chibi anime girl with black pig-tails in a pink dress pops up.
Japanese girl: Ai kah chita tei Tech.E. Coyote! Ai kasagi kornee kaichita nureeatora!
(Which tranlates as: "I love you Tech.E. Coyote! I have a special gift for you so we can belong together!")
Suddenly, the chibi girl whips out her pink thong from under her dress and chucks it towards the front of the screen.
Tech: Okay...
Duck: I didn't understand any of that but with the words "Tech.E. Coyote" and the thong business, I'm thinking of very disturbing images.
Lexi hits Duck over the head.
Duck: Ow! What did you do that for?
Lexi: Stop thinking dirty thoughts!
Tech: Definately not her. Looks at another girl.
Duck: Is that a forest growing on her head, or is it her eye brows?
Tech clicks on another girl.
Tech: Oh. This one's nice.
Lexi: Tech. She's an accountant! She sounds boring! You can get some one so much better.
Tech: Well at least we can have an intelligent conversation. Which is more than what I can get here. I'll give this dating business a try. See if you can get me together with her.
Rev: But-Tech-
Tech exits. Then Rev types faster than the speed of light.
Duck: Rev! He wants to date accountant girl, not a Whitney Shears look alike!
Rev: Tech-needs-interesting-people.
Lexi: You know. People with lives. Other than algebra girl here.
Duck: Hang on! Tech may say he wants a girl. But he'll make sure he'll lock his door to make sure you two won't force him out of there.
Rev: Oh-we-already-covered-that.
Tech: REV! LEXI! WHAT THE DID YOU DO TO MY LAB DOOR?!
Duck: What did you do to the door?
While Duck says this, Lexi and Rev are trying to hide the hammer and screwdriver.
What happened yesterday was that Rev and Lexi put loads of planks of wood, a brick wall and an aliminium door (so Tech wouldn't be able to use his metal controlling powers) in front of Tech's lab door so he wouldn't be able to avoid the date. Unfortunately, his bed is in his room/lab, so he has to sleep on the sofa in the living room. Anyways, it is almost sunrise and Tech is uncomfortable sleeping on the sofa but still, he is asleep. But he won't be able to sleep any longer.
Tech:
Voice: Wakey-wakey-Tech!
The owner of the voice Rev, pushes Tech off the sofa.
Tech: 6am?! Urgh... Was about to go back to sleep on the sofa.
Rev: Come-on-Tech! You're-meant-to-be-getting-ready! Drags Tech off the sofa.
Tech: Eehhhhh...
And so Tech cleans and dresses himself and even when a good shower's meant to do him good, he is so tired from getting up at 6am, Rev has to spoon feed him some cereal. Finally at 11am, he is ready for his first date. Rev is just doing up Tech's tie.
Lexi: Oh stop whining and listen. Your first date goes by the name of Sarah Mittosh. She's gonna meet you at the mall and to identify her, she'll wear a white flower. Got it?
Tech: FIRST DATE?! You mean there's more?!
Rev: Okay-Tech-we'll-see-you-later. Bye-bye!
Pushes Tech into the lift as the doors close to send him down. Ace and Slam enters.
Ace: Where's Tech gone? His door's been boarded up and he seemed to be in a big rush.
Lexi: Oh, he had to go some where. Don't worry he'll be back.
Tech is waiting outside the mall. He looks at his watch and then gives a deep sigh and looks around. Suddenly he sees a woman with silver hair, wearing a black jacket. She is also wearing the white flower Lexi was talking about.
Tech: Oh. That must be her.
He walks up to the woman and then stops when he gets to her.
Tech: Excuse me but you must be Sarah Mittosh.
Woman: Sorry but I'm not Sarah.
Tech: But you said you are wearing a white flower so I can identify you. So I think you are.
Woman: No I'm not.
Tech: But on the dating website-
The woman hits Tech with her handbag.
Woman: Will you stop harrassing me you pervert?!
Tech: But-
She continually hits him with the bag.
Tech: Ow! Please stop that! Ooooooooow!
Hours later, and it's raining in Acmetropolis and all the others are in the HQ safe and warm. Rev is playing video games with Duck while Slam watches, Ace is in the training room and Lexi is reading yet another tragic love novel. (Perfect for the occassion.)
Ace: Well, I don't think Tech's enjoying this. Maybe you should cancel the rest of his dates and give him back his lab. I think he's kinda desperate. And it's only his first day.
Tech is sleeping on the sofa again for the 2nd night. While he sleeps, a dark figure creeps behind the sofa with a pronged stick. They start poking Tech with it.
Mysterious figure: Get up! Get up! GET UP!
Tech gives a moan and then looks up to see the figure looking down on him.
Pushes Tech into the lift and the doors close. Later at the Cafe, Tech and Cassandra (I'll call her Cass for short for the benifit of the comedy.) are laughing quietly between themselves.
Cass: Oh Tech, you're such a charmer. You're such a good man, I can't believe you're still single.
Tech: Mutters under his breath. And I can't believe I'm doing this.
Cass: You know. You and I could have the perfect relationship but only if you're commited.
Tech: Oh yeah. You got to have a bit of commitment if this relationship is to-
Suddenly, Cass's mobile starts ringing.
Cass: Oh! Excuse me one moment. She flips her mobile phone and puts it to her ear. Hello? Wilson! What on earth are you doing calling me at this time? Pause. What?! But I can't! I'm busy and- Pause. Oh alright! I'll be over on the next plane! Hangs up and gets out her organizer. I'm sorry Tech. Our meeting will have to be posponed. Is next July good for you?
Tech: Yeah. That will be fine.
Cass: In 2790.
Tech: Oh. Okay. Takes a sip of his cup of coffee.
It is now raining, and the rest of the loonatics are inside the HQ. Ace and Lexi are playing pool, Rev is playing tiddly-winks with Duck and Slam is making himself a sandwich. The doors suddenly opens to reveal a soaking wet Tech, as he waddles inside a couple of steps.
Tech is tossing and turning on the sofa. As he tosses and turns, he falls off the sofa (without the assistance from Rev or Lexi). :BUDUM!:! At this time Rev and Lexi crept up to the sofa (Rev is holding an air-horn and Lexi's holding Duck's mobile so she can play that annoying tune that really bothers Tech in the episode "The Cloak Of Black Velvet"). Both look at Tech who is on the floor.
And so it's wash, dress, get cereal stuffed in the mouth for Tech. And at 11am, he is ready for his last date and he is walking out of the door.
Rev: And-remember-be-nice-to-the-last-one!
The doors close behind Tech as the elevator goes down.
Tech: I'll do my best...
Tech and Suzie are walking in the park and they seem to be enjoying themselves.
Tech: Well Suzie, it was nice meeting you. Maybe we could see each other again.
Suzie: Uh huh.
She gets a pink poodle out of her handbag and holds it up to her face.
Suzie: Did you hear that Poopsie?! He said he said he'll meet us again.
Whips out a pink dog leash with a pink diamond studded color.
Suzie: Now Techie-Wechie- Tech? Tech?
Tech:
Meanwhile at the HQ, Rev is poking Duck to see how long it takes until Duck strangles him, Ace is watching TV and Slam is over looking Lexi, who is reading her tragic love novel. (Very depressing isn't it?) The doors open suddenly and Tech sprints to his door. He rips off the aliminium door, the brick wall and the two layers of planks of wood and zips inside his lab. They hear locks being locked on his door and then silence fills the room.
Ace: Rev. Lexi. I think you should go and apologise to Tech.
Rev and Lexi goes up to Tech's door and knocks on it.
Tech: GO AWAY IF YOU'RE REV AND LEXI!!!
Lexi: Look. We're really sorry for what we done. We just wanted to get you out of the lab so you can see other people.
Tech: Oh yeah! First I get beaten up, then I have to wait for seven years until I can see the most obnoxious woman in the world and then I almost got to be somebody elses pet with a dog leash and collar! Yeah! I've seen other people and they're crazy! I'm not coming out of this lab again!
Rev: Tech. If it makes you feel any better, we won't do anything like this ever again. Ever.
Silence.
Rev: We're really sorry. We'll never do anything like that again. We'll do anything that will make you happy.
Tech: Anything?
Lexi: Yeah. Anything.
Tech opens the door.
Tech: Why don't you come in for a minute?
Lexi: Whispering to Rev. Suddenly, I don't think that was a wise thing to say.
Lexi & Rev walk slowly through the lab door as the metalic lab door close behind them...
Lexi is asleep in her bed and her alarm goes off. She gives a groan and stretches her right hand to turn the clock off. She turns to the other side until her eyes widened to find an intruder in her bed.
Lexi: AAAAAAAAH!!!
The intruder obviously responds to the scream, opens their eyes and has a nasty suprise.
Hours, later and Tech is back from grocery shopping. He sees Ace trying to use his laser eyes to remove the green goo off Lexi's and Rev's wrists. He turns to Duck who is on the computer.
Tech: What's going on with Lexi and Rev?
Duck: Oh. Rev and Lexi were sleeping together in Lexi's bed and discovered this green goo that is stuck to their wrists and they tried everything. Scissors, knives, chainsaws. They even got Slam to try and chew through it but it's like rubber. And now Ace is using his laser vision to try and fry it off.
Ace: Nope. It's impossible. Looks like you guys are stuck together for life.
Lexi: BUT WE CAN'T! What if I need to go to the bathroom?! I have to drag him in there with me in order to relieve myself!
Rev and Lexi both sit down, with their wrists still attached. Tech walks up to them.
Tech: Sooooooooooooo. Have you two learnt your lessons yet?
Tech goes to the cupboard and gets some table salt. He brings it to them.
Tech: And just a sprinkle of our friend sodium chloride and...
Sprinkles salt on the goo and it melts away.
Tech: Et voila! You are now free .
Lexi: What?! Salt?!
Rev: You mean we managed to make 5 pairs of scissors, 7 knives, 3 chainsaws blunt and charged at a lamp post for no reason at all?!
Tech: Well, I had to make sure you will never force me out of my lab ridiculous blind dates with crazy women for no reason what so ever.
Ace: Well at least that escapade is over now. Tech gets his life and lab back to normal, Lexi and Rev have been punished the way Tech wanted and Duck is still a bachelor.
Slam: Grunt .
Duck: Hey guys! Look at this! I got reply after 4 days of searching!
All surround the computer to see what the commotion is about.
Duck: Some girl called Helga Strauffaust comes all the way from Germany! She even sent me a little IM! Look!
Duck clicks on the icon and a chibi girl appears. She has blonde plats in her hair and is wearing a dark green lederhosen and is dancing around until she faces the loonatics.
Helga: Guten tag! Ich bin Helga! Ich lauffa sie Danger Duck! Und ta proffisch ta sie ich lauffa sie, ich haber ein cadaurasch pur sie! (Which translates as: "Hello! My name is Helga! I love Danger Duck! And to prove I love you, I have a special gift for you!")
She whips out her rad thong and throw it at the screen.
Duck:
Tech: Okay... that was even more weird than the Japanese girl.
Ace: We at least you know what romance is all about. I don't think Duck will come back down from his dream world.
And they all stare at Duck who is drooling all over the computer.